Watch Your Language, Young Lady!

by Geralyn Coopersmith

When I was a kid, my Mom and Dad would remind me when I said something out of line, "Watch your mouth, Young Lady!!" 

At that point I knew I needed to clean-up my behavior or language pronto -- or risk ending up with a bar of Irish Spring in my mouth (no joke, this was back in the day when parents still did stuff like that). 

Over the years, I think most of us learn to control our language so that we don't say anything rude or hurtful to others.  Where most of us fall short, however, is in learning how to not say anything rude or hurtful -- to ourselves.

Recently, I was talking to a close girlfriend and she was telling me her deepest darkest.  She went on this diatribe about things that she believes about herself.  How undeserving she is, how short she's fallen from what she should be, how she SHOULD look...it went on and on.  At the end of it, I literally burst into tears...and I said, "Oh, Sweetie, you're such a kind person.  You would NEVER speak to ANYONE the way you speak to yourself.  Why are you so MEAN to yourself!!?"  And she started crying too and said, "You're right!!!". 

The shocking truth is that she is a kind, sensitive person who would NEVER talk to other the way she talks to HERSELF--- EVERY SINGLE DAY!

I can totally relate (I wrote a book about it, after all), so I'm not going to point fingers.  Been there.  Done that. 

But thankfully, through lots of hard work (and oodles of therapy) I've gotten  A LOT better over the years.  I'm still not perfect, but tons better.  However, my self-talk back in my 20s and early 30s was about the same as hers -- vicious, nasty -- and not the way I would speak to ANYONE else.

The sad fact is that most of the women I know talk to themselves: 1) in a way that they would never speak to strangers and 2) in a way that they wouldn't tolerate from anyone else.

So today's challenge is to take a look at your own self-talk. 

• Do you call yourself "fat" or "ugly" or "stupid" or anything that you would consider an unacceptable way to speak to anyone else??? 
• Do you compare yourself to airbrushed supermodels and chastise yourself for not being "perfect"? 
• Do you obsess about body parts that nobody would even notice, because you have an idea about how they "SHOULD" look?

If you don't BRAVO!!!!!  Please give the rest of us some tips.  But, if you're like most of us there are PLENTY of areas where you could "speak" to yourself in a kinder, gentler voice.

I once heard a therapist saying that your internal dialog should be more like the kindest, most loving mother talking to her little baby girl.  I like that image.  What would you say to a sweet, little child who said, "Mommy, I feel like a big fat pig because I'm not a size 6?".  I don't think you'd say, "Yep, Honey, you are....you're a real porker!!!" 

Nope, I bet the best Mommy in you would say something like, "Baby Girl, you are beautiful, so what if you're not a size 6?  You're magnificent!!!  You are taking better and better care of your health and well-being and you are going to be the most breath-taking you -- that you are supposed to be"!

So start monitoring your internal dialog.  When you hear yourself saying something that you would backhand someone for saying to you --- STOP --- and switch into "Good Mommy Mode" and talk to yourself like you DESERVE to be spoken to.

For other suggestions on how to cultivate better self esteem, check out this cool link at  http://www.something-fishy.org/reach/bodyimage.php.

Home    My Blog    My Bio   My Articles    Reader Reviews  The Best Me Ever! 


My Book   Fit Foods   Check Out My New DVD!

Contact Me