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A few days later when I told my Mom about the situation she said knowingly, "Yup, there's something they don't show you in The Motherhood Brochure". She's right. It wasn't in ANY of the literature I saw. I don't know about you, but it's moments like that when I really feel appreciative of my own Mom. It's then that I realize that she did that kind of thing on many occasions while I was growing up... for me and for my sister and brother. But that's the thing about motherhood, you never really understand the job for better (and for worse) until you're right there in the trenches. As a kid, you just take mothering for granted. That's what mothers do. And I do think it's normal and appropriate that you expect good mothering as a kid. You should. You're a kid afterall...it's your birthright. You shouldn't have to feel endless appreciative that you have a mother. It's the only time in your life when you can (and should) be able to expect to receive that kind of unconditional love and care. Motherhood by definition is NOT a give-and-take proposition -- it's a give-and-give proposition. Sure, as a mother, you want to be loved and respected. And you should be. But I don't think anyone fully understands how much their mother does for them while they're growing up. As a mother you "pay it forward". Hopefully, you do for your kid and then someday they do for theirs. Maybe they'll even do it a little better than you did...learning from your mistakes. Also, as a kid you really have no perspective of your mom as a real person. On some level, you think that they were born a mother or went through some special mother training program. But as a mother, you know that you have absolutely no training for what may be the toughest job in the world. So, at least half the time you are just winging it. You're making judgment calls on the fly every day. From little ones, like whether or not to cut the crusts off the bread...to the big ones, like how to explain the worst of human behavior in terms that your kids will understand and will protect them...without scaring them. Every day you're hoping that you're doing the right thing -- and all the while a part of you is imagining your kid lying on a couch when he's about 25 talking to his therapist about how you messed him up. Still you go at the job the best you can with the tools you have...and only the fullness of time will show if you did the "right" thing in any given situation. Before I was a mom, I thought Mother's Day was a cheesy Hallmark holiday, but now I actually take it very seriously. Mother's Day is an opportunity for me to tell my Mom and all the other moms in my life how much I appreciate them and all that they do (and have done) for me. If you're a mom, you probably feel the same way. You didn't really "get it" before. But now you do. And meanwhile, I try to enjoy all the little "Mother's Day" gifts that I get every single day. Some big. Some small. Some totally unexpected. Like the one I got from my son a few weeks ago when he was really sick. It was about 3 AM and we had been up every 20 minutes all night long...him getting sick...me cleaning up after him...and he said, "Mommy?"..."Yes.", I said. And exhausted, still feeling crummy, he whispered... his head on the pillow and his eyes half-closed, "thanks...you always make me feel better". And I kissed his head and whispered, "Oh Sweetie, you're welcome...that's what mommies are supposed to do..." (Love you, Mom....Happy Mother's Day!!) Click here to read Mother's Day Geralyn Coopersmith, MA, CSCS is the author of Fit and Female: The Perfect Fitness and Nutrition Game Plan for Your Unique Body Type and the creator of The Best Me Ever -- A Complete Weight Loss, Fat-Burning and Muscle Sculpting System |
