Okay, here is a little cautionary tale for women who are trying to get pregnant or just of child-bearing years...please file it under "Craziness that I went through -- and pray you never have to".

About four years ago, I was running "a little late", if you know what I mean. 

Normally, I'm like clockwork in the reproductive health area -- so I ran to the drug store and bought a home pregnancy test.  The first test came back negative so I tossed it in the trash and breathed a sigh of relief.  I had an active 2-year old running around and a second baby at that point in time was not in my game plan. 

Later that night while brushing my teeth, I looked into the trash basket and saw a positive test in there...I was tired from the day so it took me a second to process what I was looking at...slowly it dawned on me "hmmm only two females in the house...AND THE CAT IS FIXED...HOLY CRAP!!!  In a panic, I ran to the computer and Googled, "false positive home pregnancy kits, reasons for". 

Apparently bad aim was one of the reasons that a negative test could later "turn" positive.  So I wrote it off to that -- and decided to take another test the following morning just to make sure...and to my amazement -- it said I was pregnant!!  The logistics and dates of exactly how that might have happened didn't make any sense to me at all.  But there it was a big pink plus sign telling me that my hormones said otherwise.

First I got kind of upset.  I don't like surprises.  I'm a bit of a control freak by nature.  But then I got really excited and happy.  I loved being pregnant with my son.  Never threw up.  Felt great.  Healthy as a horse throughout...okay so there was that four days of labor at the end (but that's a separate blog all together).  I love my son, love being a mom.  So I felt that this was another wonderful gift -- and I felt grateful. 

I made an appointment to see a new OB/GYN who came highly recommended by my GP (who was her patient, as well).  About a week later I went to the office, peed in a cup and they confirmed that I was definitely pregnant.  I had a pelvic exam and she told me everything checked out fine.  She seemed competent, pleasant.  We chatted about my GP (her patient and friend).  Then she told me that she wasn't actually delivering babies anymore because she had taken on a new role as a part-time administrator at the hospital-- but that one of her 7 or so partners would deliver the baby and I would meet the entire practice over the course of the next 8 months.  Then she sent me on my way and told me to come back in about a month for my next visit. 

So I left the office and had to go through this McDonald's type check-out line...and I thought...."Seven doctors, long check out lanes...hmmm....next they'll be asking if I want to Super Size that pap smear....no, this isn't working for me".  The last practice I went to had about 7 doctors, nobody knew what my story was -- and I ended up in labor for four full-days (my hand to G-d).  A repeat performance of that?  Hmmm, nope, think I'll pass.

So I set out to find a small practice...really small.  Hopefully 2-3 doctors -- max.  I called the hospital and asked who had the fewest doctors in their practice.  They gave me a name and I made my appointment to see the doctor.  Now keep in mind I had just been to the other doctor a week before, so I didn't need to go to this new practice right away, but something inside of me told me it was important to go sooner rather than later.

The new doctor was middle-aged, heavy set, polite if a bit gruff.  He said he was going to do an ultrasound to check everything out.  I told him I didn't think that was necessary, I'd just been to another doctor who had assured me I was pregnant.  But he said matter-of-factly, "just because your hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) levels are high doesn't mean you are pregnant".   

So we went into the examining room and about a minute later he said flatly shaking his head as he stared at the screen, "No sac. No heartbeat".  Okay, so bedside manner was definitely NOT this guy's strong suit. 

It took me a second to realize what he said, before I replied, "What are you saying? I'm not pregnant?"  He said, "No you're not and you have to go to this address right now and have a more comprehensive ultrasound to find out where this cell mass is so that your fallopian tubes don't rupture..."  Like I said, he was no Marcus Welby.

"Are you telling me this is an ectopic pregnancy?" (my Mom had had one in her 20s, so I knew something about them).  "Yes", he told me.  And trying to process all of this -- I took the card and hightailed it over to the ultrasound place.

Over the next few days I had 3 high-resolution ultrasounds and I don't know how many blood tests.  The technicians and radiologists couldn't find the location of my faux pregnancy, but my hormones were going through the roof, so wherever this "unbaby" was...it was apparently still growing...and fast. 

They warned me that if I had any sudden, stabbing pains I should go right to the hospital, because it probably meant my fallopian tube was rupturing.   Hmmm, let me jot that down, "if having sharp, stabbing pains in abdomen, go to hospital -- thanks, got it!" 

After a couple of days of this, my doctors and I decided rather than having to go through some exploratory surgery, they would give me this cancer drug called Methotrexate, which hopefully would kill this heartbeat-less cell mass and prevent me from having a medical emergency.  So they shot me full of a horse needle of this stuff and I went home to wait.  Over the next few days I kept having blood tests to see if my hormone levels were going down...and for several more days --they weren't, they were going up.  Then just when they were thinking that I would need to go into the hospital for surgery, the drug must have done it's thing and my hCG levels started to go down to normal.  Whew!!!

The moral of the story is that if you think you might be pregnant -- find out for sure. And find out sooner rather than later. 

Also, keep in mind that a home pregnancy test, and a pelvic by an OB/GYN are NOT the end of the story.  You need to have an ultrasound in order to validate the pregnancy.  You might be "chemically" pregnant, not really not pregnant at all and -- days away from a life-threatening medical emergency. 

PS, like I said ...my Mom had an ectopic pregnancy in her 20s that literally almost killed her...she woke up one night hemorrhaging...not sure why and was rushed to hospital.  Her blood pressure was dropping and she was in terrible pain.  Fortunately they figured it out, she went through surgery, lost a fallopian tube but lived. 

The point is that ectopic pregnancies are life threatening emergencies that many women don't see coming because either they didn't know they were pregnant or they knew they were pregnant and thought everything was normal.  Ironically, this doctor with the wonderful bedside manner may have literally saved my life, by doing that one test. 

Like I said...craziness I went through and hope you never have to.

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